Thursday, October 13, 2011

Trauma Thursdays: Injury by Mayonnaise

Granted, it can do some great things for your hair (helloooo protein!) and Patty Mayonnaise is a pretty cool chick but seriously, mayonnaise is just. No. Just no. In Japan a few days ago there was an eight vehicle pileup, leaving three people injured. And it's all because of that disgusting unnatural shit you slather on your sandwiches with complete disregard to your already increasing visceral fat which totally has been linked to lower IQ but anywayyyyy... How did this happen you ask? A truck on a highway was carrying jarred mayonnaise and so when it crashed, the goods were crushed and spilled out onto the road. I'm sure you can imagine the hazardous road conditions this caused. And you thought banana peels were slippery...

Silver Lining: The mayonnaise probably would have caused more harm if it had been used for its intended purpose.

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